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Monkey Business

Monkey Business

Aussies have idiots, tooA 64-year-old man from Queensland, Australia, attempted to steal a womanís car at knifepoint in June, but he wasnít quick enough. The senior citizen took too much time loading his groceries and walker into the vehicle. He approached a 22-year-old woman in the parking lot of a Kmart and threatened her with a knife. The woman called the police, and officers arrived before the elderly man had time to take off in her car.Another not-so-fast burglarIn Sarasota, Fla., 53-year-old Michael Barwick tried to steal a lawnmower using his bicycle. The burglar went into a neighborís carport and came out with a lawnmower. He then tied the lawnmower to the bicycle and took off. Since this wasnít a real fast get-a-way as well, the police found the bicyclist a few blocks down the road.A real cat burglarIn Ipswich, England, a 3-year-old Siamese mix is under investigation for burglarizing homes in his neighborhood. His human companion, Paul Edwards, noticed strange items appearing in the house he shares with his girlfriend and Theo, the Siamese cat thief. Theo has stolen cat toys, childrenís toys and adult toys. His list, besides toys for his cat friends, includes pens, cloth items, a hand puppet, a childís art piece, a phone charger and even a condom. Luckily, the neighbors think itís funny, and Edwards posts the stolen items on Facebook so his neighbors can retrieve their lost goods.Meanwhile, they are thinking of sending Theo to a program to address his kleptomaniac habits.

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