Editor’s note: The family asked the NFH to delete their last name for security reasons since Michael is overseas.It won’t be the first time that Michael, a Falcon father of four, has spent Father’s Day without his wife and kids. It’s part of the gig. Michael, a former Army soldier who served in Kuwait, is a civilian contractor now in Qatar.He’s been working as a contractor for the past year, and his wife, Rebecca, is hopeful that he will return in July. “But that changes on a daily basis,” she said.Meanwhile, the family keeps in close touch via e-mail and telephone.Michael and Rebecca have been married for nine years and have four children: Caitlan, age 7, Ethan, age 5, Lauran, age 2 1/2, and Ashlan, age 1.We … get to call him like every three or four days,” Rebecca said. “When he was active duty military, we could only talk to him like every two weeks or so.” Despite frequent phone calls, Michael said he finds it difficult conversing with the young children.”It is much easier to speak with my wife over the phone and talk about her day or mine as opposed to speaking with the kids,” Michael wrote in an e-mail. “They have a short attention span, so although you may talk to them on the phone, the interaction is truly minimal. Adults know how to express their feelings with words, and children don’t always have that ability.”Living apart from family is tough, but Michael said that returning home is not easy. “When you are deployed or working overseas, (and) I have done both as a military member and now as a civilian; unfortunately, you are not an integral part of the household,” Michael said. “Every time I deploy, my wife becomes a single parent and assumes not only her duties in the household but mine as well. It sometimes makes you feel like a fifth wheel when you return because the family has established patterns, routines and shared history together that you were not a part of.”Rebecca agreed. “People always feel bad for military wives, but I actually think it is harder for the husbands,” she said. “I’m here and have the kids. He is there by himself so all he does is get up, go to work and come home again. He misses all that time of being with the kids and not having the comforts of home.”He also missed the excitement of buying their home in Falcon. They were renting a home in Colorado Springs and outgrew it. Michael, even though he was not present, suggested to Rebecca that she and the kids begin hunting for a house to purchase. “The kids and I looked at over 80 houses before we bought this one,” Rebecca said. “I would take pictures of the houses I liked and then e-mail them to him to see if he liked it,” she said. All the purchasing paperwork was done through e-mail and FedEx as well.Buying a house, moving and caring for four children is challenging for one parent. But Rebecca said, “What are you going to do?’ You still have the kids that have to get up and go to school. They still have activities … you still have to clean your house … cook dinner. You just do it.”Although Michael has missed the daily routines and a few holidays and anniversaries, he’s only missed one of his children’s births, and he was in town.Two weeks before their last child was due, Rebecca experienced mild contractions. Doctors were uncomfortable and decided to induce labor. Rebecca called Michael, who was at home with their other children, and said she wasn’t coming home – at least for awhile.Michael missed the birth of Ashlan to care for her siblings. “I don’t like just anybody watching the kids, so I felt more comfortable that I was in the [delivery room] concentrating on what I had to do and knowing that he was OK with the kids, and I didn’t have to worry about them, too,” Rebecca said.Father’s Day will be a bit melancholy without Michael, but everyone anxiously awaits his anticipated July 2 return.Ethan has already made plans for the family after his Dad returns: “We are going to Disneyland, and we are going to get a puppy.”
