The holidays are here and COVID-19 orders are changing weekly because of rising numbers throughout the country. The question of whether to celebrate in person with family and friends is not just a matter of choice this year, but one of health and safety.ìWe often get stuck on what we canít do; because weíre so focused on the ëI canít thereís little room for what ëI caní do,î said Kent Mathews, family caregiver lead case manager, at Pikes Peak Area Council of Governments ó Area Agency on Aging. He suggested focusing on building relationships: send a text, an email or phone friends and family. ìBecause of COVID restrictions, itís more important to take the time and effort to keep in touch and build relationships with family and friends than ever before,î Mathews said. ìMake a point to have conversations on a regular basis to check in on how theyíre doing; then, even if you canít get together, there is still a bond.îSend letters or cards, and write about past traditions, rituals or fond memories. How can feelings of intimacy and closeness be maintained even though loved ones might not be present? ìItís important to realize that close relationships with others are not going to go away just because families and friends canít be together this year,î Mathews said.In this day and age, people can get together via platforms like FaceTime or Zoom, although some people struggle with technology because they feel it is too impersonal or intimidating. ìItís all about the level of intent you are holding in your heart,î he said. ìJust because youíre visiting online doesnít mean you canít have meaningful interactions. Hold that person in an intention of love, friendship or whatever you value in their relationship, and the closeness and richness can occur just like if you were together.î Mathews said consider celebrating the holidays on a different day. It still counts, he said. What matters is how the holiday is celebrated, not the day, Mathews said. ìIf we continue to hold on to traditions and donít allow ourselves to get out of the restrictive box our traditions have put us in, we are not able to accept any new gifts or traditions,î he said. ìThis is especially important to remember this year.îIn a Nov. 3 AARP article, ì5 Ways to Prepare for Your First Holiday Alone,î writer Susan Moeller said it is easy to despair over the possibility of being alone, but there are ways to foster joy in the season and mitigate loneliness
- Simplify expectations; let go of assumptions about holidays and any stigma around being alone. She said there is nothing shameful if this year’s holiday dinner is takeout and a glass of wine, rather than a four-course meal.
- Build anticipation and make a plan; being alone doesnít mean boring. Plan a new project,†movie†or book for the holiday; if it’s important to socialize, plan some Zoom calls.†Attend a virtual or outdoor worship service. Plan something that’s distracting, creative and fun.
