Monkey Business

Valentine’s Day bloopers

Out to sea“Keep your eyes closed,” my fiancÈ said, as I felt the pavement turn to sand under my sneakers. It was no secret we were at the beach; it was a cold and drizzly day and the ocean was a wild roar in my ears. ìOK! Open your eyes!” my fiancÈ said as he stood on a breaker wall with his back to the ocean, extending a ring toward me. Just as I began walking toward him, a giant wave reared up behind him and crashed over the top of his headócompletely drenching him and washing the ring out to sea. Of course, I said “yes,” and we headed to the nearest beach vendor to buy a temporary ring. óDiane GribschawI said f-l-o-w-e-r-s”I complained to my boyfriend of 10 years that I never get flowers, so the next year I got a box of assorted “flours.” He thought he was funny ó I wasn’t laughing.”- T.B.A plan gone awryRestaurants have a history of supporting Valentineís Day with all kinds of extras and secret plans, requested by their patrons. ìOne year we had the fortune of setting up a special engagement for a couple. We hid the ring on the dessert plate. He got on one knee to propose. Unfortunately, for him and the entire section ó staff, and patrons alike ó she declined. He sat back down and they were both crying … it was awful. Pretty much the single most awkward moment to date at the restaurant.- Jason French

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