Monkey Business

Valentine’s Day gifts that don’t cut it

“A toaster. I got a toaster for Valentine’s Day.”óKate, 25, San Francisco”When I was younger, my boyfriend knew me to be a big animal advocate and decided to surprise me with a flying squirrel that he had bought from someone on the street! He rang my doorbell and handed me a cage. I gingerly opened the door and a rodent came at me, bit me and flew away! I spent the night in the emergency room acquiring a full set of rabies shots and had hospital Jell-O in place of the memorable dinner he had promised me.”óCynthia, 54, Parker, Colo.”A can opener.”óSonia 28, New York City

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