- The U.S. Transportation Security Administration says it probably won’t prosecute schoolteacher Kathryn Harrington, 52, of Laurel, Md. She was passing through security at Tampa (Fla.) International Airport when agents pulled her aside for carrying a weapon: a leather strap with tiny metal weights in each end. “It was a bookmark,” Harrington says. “It’s not a weapon. I could not understand why I was being handcuffed and put into a police car.” She notes she has carried the bookmark through airport security several times without incident, but won’t again. (St. Petersburg Times) … Of course, screeners couldn’t recognize it as a bookmark: few of them have ever read a book.
- And now, His Poopiness the Hole – er – His Poopiness the Pole – rather, His Holiness the Poop. – Translator in a meeting at the Vatican
- CORRECTION IN THE DALLAS MORNING NEWS: Stay-at-home mothers have chosen not to work because they want to go to play golf or go to the club and play cards. -Sen. Chris Dodd (D- Connecticut)
- There’s no such thing as legacies. At least there is a legacy, but I’ll never see it. – President George Bush visiting Catholic leaders at the White House
- The University of Vermont is an affirmative action employer and does not discriminate for reasons of national origin, race, gender, class, sexual performance or religion. – Help wanted in a Vermont newspaper.
- Mescaline Salad – $4.99 a pound – Foodmart international flyer
- Two minutes on the clock when you’re on defense is a lifetime, but when you’re on offense, it’s a lot of time. – Sportscaster covering a UCLA-USC football gamed
