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Monkey Business

Monkey Business

Teachers need rewards to do their jobThe Kanawha County School Board in West Virginia has voted to give teachers a bonus if they’ll simply show up for work. The district pays $4.9 million for substitute teachers because of teacher absence. School board president Jim Crawford said, “Our substitutes do a good job, but this gives people an opportunity to come to school on a regular basis and be rewarded for it.” Teachers would get a maximum of a $1,050 bonus if they used none of their 15 allotted sick days each year. The treasurer said if more than half the eligible employees qualified for the bonus, the scheme would cost more than it saves.Nice message to the kids!Move over VegasWal-Mart has entered the bridal market, promoting summer weddings this year. A 99-cent only store (what’s next – a half dollar store?) in Texas is promoting a 99-cent in-store wedding. The “idea” behind the promotion was to highlight the “ludicrousness of the extravagance of weddings,” said one shopper who helped develop the wedding promotion.Better yet, a 99-cent divorce!Hold on to your organsThirty-seven-year-old Michelle Eather, of Australia, was a perfect match for a man in the United States who needed a kidney transplant. She agreed to donate her left kidney, although she has never met him. However, when the story hit the news, other people started calling asking her to donate her other kidney and other organs. Eather said there were more than 2,000 inquiries, and some people were e-mailing her twice a day.Moral of the story: Don’t flash your donor cards.www.thisistrue.com

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