Born without a brain:Ryan Daniel Goff, 20, has been charged with felony attempted extortion after allegedly putting a dead mouse in a burrito he received at a Traverse City, Mich., Taco Bell. He complained to the restaurant that his food tasted “funny,” and then took the mouse to the county health department, commenting to workers there about how much money “the lady got from McDonald’s” after spilling coffee in her lap.Prosecutors say Goff then called a Taco Bell regional manager to say “it won’t be a good day if the media finds out about this,” and then said he wanted “something that would make my ears tingle” to settle.Police heard something that made their ears tingle: Goff’s girlfriend said he bought the mouse from a pet store, and said he put it in his burrito “to get rich quick.” (Traverse City Record-Eagle) … Earth to Dr. Duh: it’d only be news if a Taco Bell burrito didn’t taste funny.Colorado bumpkin?Tresa Waggoner, 33, the music teacher in Bennett, Colo., invited Opera Colorado to perform a comic opera for students. She showed her students a 12-minute segment from a children’s video she checked out of the school library, “Who’s Afraid of Opera?,” to introduce them to the concept. The segment included scenes from “Faust”, which uses sock puppets to tell the story about how a man suffers when he sells his soul to the devil. Parents accused the teacher, a singer who has issued two Christian music albums, of being anti-Christian and a devil worshiper. “I think [the video] glorifies Satan in some way,” said one parent. Waggoner was suspended, and the school board ruled that Waggoner would not be allowed to return to the classroom. It also canceled the opera performance. “Do we look like bumpkins?” asked a cringing town board member, Rich Pulliam. (Rocky Mountain News, Denver Post)Heck no! You’ll have to claw your way up several levels to get up as far as “bumpkins.”All you can say is HMMMM …Scott Smith, 36, of Davis City, Iowa, was a leader of the Brotherhood of Christ religious community when he was convicted of sexual abuse and indecent contact with two teenaged girls. The Brotherhood is against modern conveniences, including anything electrical. Smith was ordered to wear an electronic monitor as part of his probation, but that violates his faith, he says, and would set a bad example for his children. The sect’s current leader, Ron Livingston, says the ban on electricity is absolute, because it can cause people to “disobey God and religion.” The judge in the case is reconsidering the monitor requirement. (Des Moines Register)You know, this wouldn’t be an issue if the leader of the Brotherhood had simply believed sexual assault of teen girls violated his faith and set a bad example for his children.www.thisistrue.com
