- One local male business owner talking to a female business owner during a phone conversation:” You just listen to me, honey, because if you are blonde, this is going to go right over your head.” Truth! Happened to be a blonde publisher, but the caller didn’t know that.
- As the crowded airliner is about to take off, a 5-year-old boy throws a temper tantrum. His mother cannot calm him; the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the surrounding seats. Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, a man wearing a U.S. Army Green Beret uniform walks down the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the courtly, soft-spoken Green Beret leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy’s ear. Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother’s hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. The other passengers burst into applause. As the Green Beret makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants asks, “What magic words did you use on that little boy?” The Green Beret smiles and says, “I showed him my pilot’s wings, service stars and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out of the plane door on any flight I choose, and that I was just about to make my selection for this flight.” (submitted by Alex Donnell)
- From “This is True,” a Web site by humorist Randy Cassingham:
- A man sued his doctor because he survived his cancer longer than the doctor predicted.
- Two robbers were in the process of their crime when one changed his mind and arrested the other.
- A woman had her husband’s ashes made into an egg timer when he died, so he could still “help” in the kitchen.
- Only 68 of 200 Anglican priests polled could name all of the Ten Commandments, but half said they believed in space aliens.
