Santa Claus veers off courseJohn B. Schuster, age 69, crashed into a Madison, Wisc., sheriffís car the evening of Dec. 22. Dressed in a Santa suit, Schuster rear-ended an unmarked SUV stopped because the deputy had been directing jammed up traffic due to an earlier crash involving injuries. The deputy was sitting in his vehicle with the emergency lights on when Santa ran into him. Apparently, Santa had been drinking too much eggnog with his elves. Santa was arrested ñ his fourth offense for driving while intoxicated. He should have stuck with his sleigh and reindeer.Mommy dearestIn San Francisco this past fall, a mother and her 10-year-old daughter were shopping for groceries at a Safeway. The mother, Marcy Keelin, had no intention to purchase the cart-full of food, however. Instead, she planned a get-away that put her daughter in the position of ìfront manî for the crime. Keelin told her daughter to wait by the exit door with the grocery cart while she went to get the car. She told her daughter to push the cart to the car as soon as she drove up to the curb. Lo and behold, the little girl wasnít fast enough because she was ìbusted.î The mom did the only thing any dumb robber would do ñ she fled the scene ñ leaving her daughter holding the ìbagî so to speak. Being a dumb robber is one thing; being a dumb and terrible mother is another.Spreading Christmas joyIn New Orleans, police confronted a woman because of the shape of her Christmas lightsí display. Neighbors were complaining because the lights were hanging in the shape of a fist with the middle finger in full view. Sarah Childs had been in a dispute with neighbors so she wanted to send them a clear message during the holidays. Police threatened to arrest her, so Childs brought in the American Civil Liberties Union and sued the city. Although a judge ruled in her favor, city officials did not stop harassing Childs. U.S. District Judge James Brady issued an order temporarily barring city officials from further contact with Childs. A Jan. 7 hearing is scheduled in Baton Rouge. Oh, and the police were also called to Childís house when neighbors complained she was ìcarolingî ñ singing impromptu songs (allegedly laced with obscenities) about the dispute with her neighbors. Oh, silence the night ñ and the people.
