Mark Stoller and his wife, Andra, moved to Falcon with their family in 2007. Both are U.S. Air Force veterans and enjoy life with their daughters, extended family and adopted rescue dogs in Latigo. Mark is fortunate to have his wife and daughters as his muse for topics, people to meet and places to investigate.
Graduation!
By Mark Stoller
It’s finally here! After 21 months of intense academics and over 700 clinical hours in local hospitals, I will receive my associate degree in respiratory therapy.
Important advice to graduates: When you’ve crossed the stage and received your diploma — stop — face your family and wave to them. Graduations are just as much for the family as they are for the graduates.
This advice comes from a colleague who attended his friend’s graduation to become a physician’s assistant. The friend had mentioned that once he got the diploma, his focus was “just get across the stage and don’t trip going down the stairs”.
Looking back on it, he realizes that he regrets not taking a moment to find his family in the crowd and acknowledge their attendance, devotion and cheering with a wave.
The next mental conundrum is receiving gifts from family and friends. I have been asked by several family members, “Hey, what can we get you for graduation?”
It is an awkward question to ask and be asked. Additionally, depending on who is asking, it can also seem a little obligatory rather than sincere.
For me, the answer is “nothing.” I received my bachelor’s degree a long time ago and this was a vocational steppingstone to a new career.
With Gracie graduating high school and getting ready to go off to college in August, I want the focus to be solely on her and not me.
In my mind, just having my family present and sharing in the moment is the right gift for me.
That sentiment, though, was countered by being told the BS flag is being thrown because it is considered a cop out answer. Apparently, for others to feel like they are a part of the celebration, there is a need to bring something with which to reward my accomplishment.
Maybe I should ask them what gift they would like for my graduation? They also endured the last 21 months of me tucked away studying for exams and absent while completing two 12-hour clinical shifts every single week while school was in session.
The only option now is to go to the internet for help and discover what is the right thing to do.
From Harvard Business Review, “On a basic level, we give gifts because we’re supposed to. On certain occasions — birthdays, anniversaries, dinner parties, the end of the year — it’s customary. Underlying that custom is an important purpose: appreciation. We give people gifts to show them that we are grateful for them and value the role they play in our lives.”
DudusOnline takes the idea a little further, “Gift-giving is a fundamental part of many cultural festivals and celebrations. Not only does it show appreciation for the recipient, but also communicates respect and goodwill from the giver.
“In some cultures offering gifts is seen as an act of humility that shows admiration or even subordination toward the receiver. In other societies, exchanging presents is expected as an expression of friendship between two equals.
“Furthermore, giving someone something special can signify loyalty or even love in certain contexts. Families and friends bring a great deal of emotional significance to the act of giving gifts during festivals and celebrations. From heartfelt tokens to pooled funds for big purchases, the relationships among loved ones adds depth and purpose behind any present given on special days throughout the year.”
Alas, gifts are given out of respect, appreciation and love. The BS flag was righteously thrown. I will come up with some gift ideas while swallowing hard on my piece of humble pie. Maybe I can ask for a pony!
