Mark Stoller and his wife, Andra, moved to Falcon with their family in 2007. Both are U.S. Air Force veterans and enjoy life with their daughters, extended family and adopted rescue dogs in Latigo. Mark is fortunate to have his wife and daughters as his muse for topics, people to meet and places to investigate.
Anger or burned toast
By Mark Stoller
I’ve been fortunate to be able to change jobs and ditch the night shift for regular day hours and a pay raise.
I still choose to drive through Black Forest to avoid the overcrowded traffic buffoonery of Woodmen and get to my worksite on the west side of town.
I thought that driving at a different time of day might allow for experiencing different, if not better, drivers along my route. Ummmm … not so much.
For context, I have been fortunate enough to have honed my active-reactive driving skills by living and driving in Italy for two years. I completed an anti-terrorism driving course and gained combat driving skills through two tours in Iraq.
Of note, Andra wouldn’t allow me to drive for two months after my return from Italy until I could assimilate back to slower and more cautious American-style driving.
I drive with a purpose. I intend to get where I’m going in an efficient amount of time. I don’t tolerate stupid antics or ignorance on the road.
Alas, regardless of the time of day, drivers still cannot figure out the four-way stop at Burgess and Volmer … staring at each other wondering who might go first while the rest of us grow old in our vehicles.
Drivers still lallygag along in areas where there’s nowhere to pass. Speed limit warriors, who decide they’re going to stick it to everybody else by driving below the speed limit just to jam you up all the way down the length of Burgess Road, are prevalent along the route.
The dingleberries who purposely anger the people behind them because they think someone is crowding their bumper or might be speeding through the forest are the reason for road rage. Feel free to pull to the side and let those folks pass.
Generally, most drivers will adhere to the common courtesy of up to 5 miles above the speed limit. You might also consider that people have somewhere important to be and you are needlessly preventing them from getting there.
Now, there is another side of the coin that involves the intervention of the universe.
I came across a concept known as the Burnt Toast Theory. It is a belief that minor inconveniences now can lead to a positive outcome at a later time.
Something as simple as burning your toast in the morning, though it might be frustrating and inconvenient, might have happened for good reason,” explains Dr. Markley, a psychologist. “Maybe it slows you down a bit, but it may also give you an extra two minutes to breathe while you wait for new toast. Or maybe being an extra five minutes late prevents you from hitting all red lights on your way into work.”
Further, the idea is that these frustrating situations may have a domino effect on your life and set you up for something positive or keep you from other problematic situations. The more cliché ways to think about it: everything happens for a reason or look for the silver lining.
Ideas like the Burnt Toast Theory are more commonly applied as psychological coping tools that are meant to improve how we handle life’s minor frustrations. Instead of focusing on the negative, understanding setbacks as potentially having benefit in the grand scheme of things can help us practice greater acceptance and less frustration with inconveniences.
While I still drive with a purpose, the Burnt Toast Theory has helped me stay calmer and hurl fewer insults at other drivers’ lack of driving skills I encounter during my commute. Sometimes you just can’t fix stupid — whether it’s them or me.
