“When the cat is away, the mice will play.” On Dec. 22, one of only two vacation days I took in 2005, the El Paso County Board of County Commissioners slipped even more financial mischief into their budget. Swallow a fistful of Prozac or Valium, and read on.A “golden parachute” is a severance agreement that pays employees for NOT working. It is contractual compensation for being FIRED. It is most common in government, since politicians are not playing with their own money. They can hand a big, fat payoff to their friends, with whom they associate daily, when those insiders screw up. The cost is borne by a remote abstraction called “taxpayers,” of whom big government types feign to consider, if at all, only at re-election time.The county had only two golden parachutes by contract, both about to end. One was for the county administrator, who makes $142,470. The other was for the county attorney, who now makes $116,688. As you see, both are barely scraping by.What did the board do while I was out of state, celebrating Christmas with relatives?(I never knew “family values” could be so expensive!) They renewed both golden parachutes, and added another porker to the trough. The director of human services (i.e. welfare handouts) is now making $109,242, just a hair above the poverty line. Experienced as she is in “redistributing the wealth” (the key concept of Karl Marx’s “Communist Manifesto”), it was long past time to line up for her own cash giveaway.Why was this pernicious practice not only prolonged, but also expanded, when it was due to expire nine days later? The board had agreed to hire a woman in Florida to be our new internal auditor, not to be confused with our external auditor. But offering her $92,500, more than the governor of Colorado receives, wasn’t enough. She demanded a golden parachute as well. Remember, this is someone being hired to SAVE taxpayer dollars!The county BS (Big Spenders) machine decided if she obtained this perk, the other three overpaid employees should, too-“it’s only fair.” This plan was devised in an earlier secret meeting I refused to attend because of my public commitment to open government.Well, the woman had a family emergency and she withdrew. She had not worked here even one day, yet her greed took root 2,000 miles away. She caused this change in policy without even profiting from it. Did the board rescind the other three offers? Does the sun rise in the north?It gets worse. The contracts say in paragraph six that the employee “shall serve at the will of the board.” An at-will contract means either party may cancel the relationship at any time for any reason (excepting illegal discrimination).BUT, it also says it for a specific term of one year, calendar year 2006. How can it be both? THEN, it also says the parties “may negotiate” a one-year extension through 2007.THEN, it says if employment “ends with the expiration of this agreement on December 31, 2007…” Wait a minute! It was at-will, then a one-year with an option to renew, and now the contract doesn’t end for two years? Pathetic.It gets still worse! If the contract is not renewed AFTER 2007, “the resulting end of employment will be treated as a termination without cause.”What does that mean? If these favored few are EVER terminated without cause, their golden parachutes are activated. Paragraph 7 says, “If the termination is without cause … (the employee) shall receive six months of compensation and six months of 100 percent county paid benefits.” So, there is ALWAYS a penalty for canceling these (lifetime) contracts.”Cause” is defined in paragraph nine as fraud, theft, or some criminal convictions, or an uncorrected breach of contract, gross misconduct, or other conduct that injures or may injure the county. Now hear this – if the cause is under category two, the employee STILL gets “90 days of 100 percent of county paid benefits.” So even “gross misconduct” and “breach of contract” will be rewarded at taxpayer expense!The contract itself was written by an outside attorney, at extra cost to the taxpayers. It was then reviewed and edited by the county attorney’s office, though he was one of the three beneficiaries of it.Commissioner Williams supported the golden parachutes, but voted against two of the three contracts because they also gave a pay raise. He voted for the administrator’s contract, which did not. The other three commissioners voted for all three contracts, granting a pay raise higher than the 3 percent just given to most workers, and contradicting a pay freeze the board had just imposed on all employees making $80,000 or more.The Taxpayer’s Bill of Rights requires the county to set aside money equal to the total of multiple- fiscal year financial obligations that are not voter approved. But no money has yet been reserved for these future obligations, as required by the state Constitution, which each commissioner swore to uphold. (Call it constitutional violation number 1,398,457,503.)”Christmas comes but once a year.” I now begin to appreciate that thought. Taxpayers can’t afford its coming any more often than that!Contact me at (719) 520-6412, by e- ail at DouglasBruce@elpasoco.com, or send a letter to27 E. Vermijo Ave. Colorado Springs, CO 80903. Audiotapes of all BOCC meetings, both simulcast and in archives, are available at www.elpasoco.com. Back issues of my monthly reports are available at www.DouglasBruce.com.
