Parents, school counselors, teachers, law enforcement officers and others are constantly telling children and teenagers to be aware of personal encounters with strangers (including supposedly trusted individuals) that present aggressive and unusual or improper behaviors. The internet has exacerbated opportunities for predators, and the same stranger-danger messages apply to the web. According to a puresight.com post, ìIn 100 percent of the cases, teens that are the victims of sexual predators have gone willingly to meet with them.Dr. George Athey, a board-certified child, adolescent and adult psychiatrist with Peak Vista Community Health Centers, said kids and teens are at risk for being exposed to things online that they are not emotionally ready to handle. Sexual content is a major concern because kids are not mature enough to deal with those feelings or situations, he said.ìThe whole world is available to the kids online,î said Kim Boyd, director of community care for El Paso County Colorado School District 49 and a licensed clinical and school psychologist. ìBefore, kids only had access to what they brought into their houses. There was not a bunch of hiding things and being secretive. But now, kids can sit in their rooms with their headphones on, and no one can see what is on their laptop, phone or tablet.îìSocial media is a virtual world where you can be somewhere else, be with other people, without leaving your home,î Athey said. ìThat virtual world may open a kid up to meet a person they should not, see things they should not see or are told things they should not hear.î Kids and teens can be lured into potentially dangerous situations by predators they encounter on social media sites, he said.ìThe pornographic industry is really good about finding ways to infiltrate websites that are seemingly non-threatening,î Athey said.Boyd said kids will provide more information about themselves online than they realize, despite the fact that 87 percent of kids ages 8 to12 and 86 percent of teens ages 13 to 17 say their parents have talked to them about staying safe online, according to a report, ìThe Common Sense Census: Media Use by Tweens and Teens,î published in 2015.If kids have played an online game with someone over a few weeks, they might feel comfortable enough to tell that person things they would not normally tell a stranger, Boyd said.Shaye Meissen, director of behavioral health for Peak Vista and licensed professional counselor, said child predators often start out nice and friendly, which is how they get kids and teens to put their guard down and become more vulnerable.The same behavior exists in child predators that kids and teens might encounter on a daily basis, but in person rather than online. Maureen Basenberg, executive director of Safe Passages Childrenís Advocacy Center in Colorado Springs, said more than 90 percent of perpetrators are known to the child and the childís family.ìChild predators very much work themselves into positions of trust within the system,î she said. ìThat is scary. It is the last thing we want to think. That inability to wrap your head around that idea is what puts kids at risk, in my opinion. It is our inability to see the potential threat that allows those perpetrators to get away with it.îBasenberg said it can be hard for parents to see those potential risks when they are juggling so many things in their lives. However, she said there are things to consider like whether the attention someone is paying to their child is appropriate. If someone is eager to help when a parent is in a bind, it can be easy to look the other way, Basenberg said.ìIs there something that says this attention may be inappropriate?î she said. ìIf so, follow up on that intuition.îParents do not have to be the ones to deal with someone they think could be inappropriately interacting with their child, Basenberg said. Trained professionals in law enforcement can deal with the offense, as long as it is reported to them.ìIt is a scary thing to pick up the phone and make a report on someone that has been good to your family, and your kid likes them, but it is anonymous so nothing will come back to you,î she said. ìIn general, kids do not make false reports of abuse.îIf children feel safe enough to tell an adult about something that is happening to them, Basenberg said it is important they feel their confidante believes them. The minute they feel the adult doesnít believe them, the door on that conversation is closed.Conversations are vital when it comes to not only identifying when a child has been inappropriately treated but also helping them stand up for themselves and set boundaries, Basenberg said. ìA big part is helping kids know the correct names for their body parts,î she said. ìOtherwise, we send the message to kids that somehow your body should not be talked about, and that sets up an understanding that we do not talk about certain things. If a perpetrator tells them not to talk about something that is happening, that makes sense to the kid.îAthey agreed and said he recommends that people tell their kids and teens that secrets are not a good thing. Anything that makes them uncomfortable is something they need to share with their parents or a trusted adult, he said. If someone asks them to keep a secret, they need to know to be suspicious of that person.ìIf it needs to be a secret, there is a reason for that,î Athey said. ìKids are more likely to be taken advantage of by someone who wants them to keep a secret.îSometimes, posing a situation in a hypothetical way to open the lines of communication can help a child talk about something they find difficult, Basenberg said.ìParents should be starting the conversation about what is OK and what is not OK from the time their kids can talk,î Meissen said. ìKids generally do not speak out because they think they will get in trouble, or they are embarrassed.îBasenberg said those conversations can go a long way to keeping kids safe; but, in the event something appears to be wrong, she recommended calling local law enforcement to report it. Additionally, she recommended attending classes like those offered at Kidpower of Colorado in Colorado Springs. Kids as young as 4 years old are taught about personal safety.ìReally, at the end of the day, we need kids and teens to know they can do what they need to do to feel safe,î Basenberg said. ìAnd then we have to be supportive about that.î
