Monkey Business

Monkey Business

JUST GET A DIVORCEDESPERATE EXCUSES II:Teddy Claire Akin, 28, told sheriff’s investigators in Ocala, Fla., that he had killed a hitchhiker and buried him. He turned over the victim’s wallet as evidence, and police searched unsuccessfully for the body. The story came unraveled when the supposed victim turned up alive. Then “he started telling different versions of what happened,” a police spokesman said. Police say Akin was having trouble with his wife, and hoped that the thought of being married to a murderer would be too much to bear and she’d leave him. He has been charged with making a false report, plus the theft of the wallet, which he had found. (Ocala Star-Banner) … His sentence: 10 more years with his wife.COLD STONE ADVERTISINGLEAVE… ME… ALONE!A week after 14 people were sickened by salmonella after eating allegedly tainted “Cake Batter” ice cream, Cold Stone Creamery unveiled its new ad campaign. New billboards in Boston, Mass., proclaimed, “Once tasted, never forgotten.” (Boston Herald) … Sometimes “truth in advertising” isn’t really a good thing.From www.thisistrue.com (Randy Cassingham)AH … THE GOVERNMENTWhen J. Edgar Hoover was head of the FBI, no agents were allowed to walk on his shadow.The U.S. Department of Agriculture decided that Americans needed to know how long it takes people to cook breakfast. So, department officials funded a study that cost only $46,000 … to find out what anyone who has ever cooked breakfast could have told them.

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