Mark Stoller and his wife, Andra, moved to Falcon with their family in 2007. Both are U.S. Air Force veterans and enjoy life with their daughters, extended family and adopted rescue dogs in Latigo. Mark is fortunate to have his wife and daughters as his muse for topics, people to meet and places to investigate.
This Life
By Mark Stoller
During the month of October, as a respiratory therapist, I was on shift more than I had time off.
I noticed while working in the intensive care unit, there were trends of ailments afflicting our patients.
We had the consequences of non-helmet wearing motorcycle accidents; necrotizing (an accumulation of bacteria that causes tissue decay and death ) internal organs; pneumonia caused by unknown, infectious organisms; and now we have brain bleeds.
To me, the brain bleeds are the most diabolical. One moment you are walking and talking with family and the next moment you drop like a rock. Now you cannot speak, have controlled function or you’re going to die.
One of my patient’s wife decided it was finally time to let go and requested their daughter fly in to say goodbye. The wife asked me specifically to terminally extubate her husband when she and her daughter were present the next day.
“Terminal extubation” is a fancy phrase we use to describe the process of removing the endotracheal tube from an individual’s airway, turning off the ventilator and allowing the brain and body to expire naturally.
It is a dark part of my job and skill set. Thankfully, I’m able to maintain a level of professional stoicism for the patient’s dignity and still be empathic to the grieving family.
While I can compartmentalize this action, there is a cumulative emotional cost knowing that, by my hand, another human has gone on to the afterlife and left their family behind.
My colleagues and I talk about the various terminal extubations we complete.
Our last conversation focused on the concept of souls and soulmates.
We were wondering whether we participate in a ‘one and done’ life where we end up in either heaven or hell based on our life choices. Or do we come back in consecutive lives to apply the lessons we learned in a previous life and stay connected to the souls we call friends or family? ie: soulmates
I did some research and found, depending on the source, there are anywhere between four and 12 different types of soulmates.
I looked at the website, Astra hearts, to get a definition of soulmate — it’s that feeling of looking across a room and having your soul say, “Oh, there you are.” It’s a sense of safety and familiarity so deep it feels ancient.
Further, a true soulmate isn’t your missing piece. They don’t rescue you. They hold up a mirror so you can see your own strength, your own light, and even the wounds you still need to heal. It’s a partnership in growth — a connection built not by two halves making a whole, but by two whole people choosing to walk the path together.
The soulmate archetypes:
Karmic Connection: an intense teacher; This relationship pushes all your buttons and brings up your oldest patterns.
Romantic Soulmate: the relationship is based on shared dreams, genuine respect and a love that is both passionate and calm. This is your person; your partner.
Platonic Soulmate: the thick and thin buddy, no agenda or drama, simply acceptance, support and the peaceful consolation of being fully and really seen.
Twin Flame: a direct mirror of your soul — your light, shadows, deepest fears and highest potential.
There is also mention of Soul Teachers, Soul Contracts, Soul Crossings and animal companions.
Every day in the hospital I see patients on death’s doorstep and their reality reinforces the idea of “Life is short.” My friends, go find happiness, accomplish new things, leave unfulfilling relationships, nurture the great friendships and be thankful.
