THANKSGIVING MISHAPS!
Shirtless grandma
One year, my grandma was carving the turkey ceremoniously and as she was leaning over the bird, her sleeve caught on fire. She didn’t notice for a while and my uncle was yelling, “Grandma you’re on FIRE! On FIRE!”
When she finally noticed, she ripped her shirt off and jumped up and down on it for an eternity. The image of my topless grandmother stomping on her flaming Anne Klein blouse has haunted me. I see it in slow motion every year when I watch somebody cut into the turkey. Rest in peace Grandma.
alicefitzgerald99
Drunk grandma
We showed up at my wife’s grandparents house and nothing was prepared. Grandma had gotten mad at Grandpa, had a few drinks, and fell asleep while Grandpa slept in front of the TV. So we all arrived to find a raw turkey and sides that hadn’t been started. Everyone pitched in and finished the food and we had a late dinner. I’m not sure Grandma and Grandpa ever realized what had happened. My wife and her parents decided we’d take a cruise for Thanksgiving the next year and after that we all just brought the food to grandma’s house.
Anonymous
Backyard visitors — firefighters
One year we were all sitting around inside while my dad cooked a turkey in a fryer outside. In the middle of watching Thanksgiving football, we started seeing people go past the windows into the backyard. Upon closer inspection, these people were firefighters.
Anonymous
Cat-astrophe
Diane Harlan of Portland, Oregon, and her mother had a feline surprise during Thanksgiving dinner. As they carved the turkey, they discovered a black tail emerging from the turkey cavity. It wasn’t a Thanksgiving miracle — it was the family cat’s misguided quest for a turkey themed hideout. Clawing ensued, and the cat was finally freed, albeit covered in turkey juice and stuffing remnants. Perhaps the cat just wanted to join the feast.
Stuffing explosion
The Thanksgiving of my 9th or 10th year, my mom and dad got up at 5 a.m. to start the turkey in the old, white Westinghouse roaster. They got the bird stuffed and into the roaster before noticing that the roaster’s lid would not fit because the bird was too big. It was decided that my dad would climb on a chair and push down on the lid to break the turkey’s breastbone so that it would fit. He got up on the chair and pushed really hard. Instead of breaking the breast, he managed to shoot the stuffing out the back of the bird, up the window, cabinet and curtains, and onto the ceiling, where it quickly hardened into a cement-like state. The story lives on, even though dad is gone.
Kim Collins-Little
