Janice Tollini has worked in the health care industry as a clinical psychologist for 15 years. She is now a Talent Management Consultant, and is completing additional graduate training in industrial/organizational psychology. In 2017, she will become certified as an executive coach through the World Coaching Institute. Check out Janiceís website at http://talentworksconsulting.com.
Although this article wonít be read until after Christmas, I am writing it on Christmas Day so my thoughts have a distinct holiday feel. The holidays, regardless of your religious persuasion, are about family. And in saying family I mean both biological and ìacquiredî family. Either way, the love is the same.The holidays involve sharing gifts, family meals, seeing people you havenít seen since perhaps the last holiday season: traveling and braving the madness of airports to be with those we love. It is understandably a time when people are thinking of family and loved ones who cannot be there and feeling the loss of those who have died. What a contrast in emotions, the joy of family present and the pain of family absent.I think in particular of two of my very dear friends, one having Christmas for the first time without her father, the other without her husband. Such a different feeling than my two friends who are having their first Christmas with their first child. Facebook, an excellent barometer of what people are feeling and thinking, is filled with posts from people sending holiday wishes to their loved ones in heaven and pictures from holidays past.This was not intended to be an article on grieving, but I cannot help but comment that while people grieve silently throughout the year, the holidays seem to give voice to that grief. In the midst of the caroling and the cookie exchanges and all the celebrations of the season, there is room to honor those we have lost. And the beautiful part is that it does not take away from the holiday cheer, but seems to add a deeper level to it. One of permanency and remembrance, which reminds you of the importance of time spent with loved ones once the trees and lights have been taken down and there is not a Christmas cookie in sight.I canít help but wonder how we could capture that feeling of love and appreciation and extend it throughout the year. How do we make our sense of belonging a part of our daily experience, rather than something we store away with the decorations? How can we maintain a sense of connection to all of those loved ones?Technology, of course, has made that easier. We can call from anywhere, email, text, send photos. Or maybe that in-person, face-to-face interaction is what makes the connection real. Time spent together: sharing a meal or sitting on the porch, watching the sunset or even sitting in comfortable silence.The reality is that we find a way to connect. Be it a quick ìlove youî text in the middle of the day, a phone call or a photo posted on Facebook ñ- we forge connections beyond our ability to physically be together. We offer reminders of our presence even when we cannot be there. Just as our love is able to transcend life and death, we find a way.
