Monkey Business

Stupid Christmas crimes

Shooting mistletoe?William E. Robinson of Georgia was arrested for opening fire at a sprig of mistletoe outside a shopping mall. He didnít want to hurt anyone; he was just upholding his favorite Christmas tradition. ìEvery year I go somewhere to get some mistletoe to decorate the house … I get some for my friends that can’t get mistletoe. The best way to get it is with a shotgun.î Hereís one for the gun control side.The spirit of givingTerry Trent of Ohio just loves the holiday season, and it seems that he wanted to do something special for someone. The 44-year-old man, high on bath salts, broke into a Dayton home and began putting up Christmas decorations. Then, he sat down and watched television, until the 11-year-old boy who lives there discovered him. What do they call the crime when the burglar brings things to the house?The violent ornament banditRuth Wagner stole a Christmas ornament at a craft fair she attended. The artisan chased after her; instead of giving it up, Wagner stabbed the guy in the arm with the ornament. Do they have a Christmas crafts class at the jail?Christmas morning gone badIn South Carolina, Patty White murdered her friend, Michele OíDowd, because she needed to use OíDowdís debit card since she didnít have any money for the holidays ñ her friend simply said, ìNo.î White buried OíDowd under the pile of Christmas presents in the victimís home. This is just so wrong.

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