WHERE THERE’S SMOKE, THERE’S FIRESan Luis Obispo, Calif., fire department investigator John Madden ruled the cause of a fire that destroyed a mobile home was strictly accidental. After reviewing the circumstances behind the fire, he determined it was started by a cigarette, which caused $200,000 in damage. Homeowner Bill Lewis, 68, and his mother Chessie were not at home when the fire struck; after she finished her smoke break, Bill had taken his mother to the county public health department for a meeting to help her quit smoking. (San Luis Obispo Tribune) … Meeting: marginally effective. Coming home to see the results of her actions: significantly more effective.DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITYAfter being charged with drunk driving, Scott Allan Witmer, 44, of Easton, Penn., representing himself while clad in a “Bud Light” sweatshirt, offered the judge his defense. State laws don’t apply to him, Witmer said, because “I live inside myself, not in Pennsylvania.” Therefore, he’s a sovereign country who can’t be prosecuted. “I’m alarmed you may be a danger to yourself and the community,” Northampton County Judge Leonard Zito said, ordering Witmer held until he undergoes drug, alcohol and psychological evaluations. “I’m not insane,” Witmer said. “I’ve already had like five of them done in prison.” (Easton Express-Times) … They have to keep doing them until they get one right.
