Check Out Our Advertisers!
     None  Accounting/Bookkeeping
     None  Attorney - Lawyer
     None  Auto
     None  Aviation
     None  Banks and Credit Unions
     None  Carpet Cleaning
     None  Chamber of Commerce
     None  Child Care
     None  Chiropractic Care
     None  Churches
     None  Computer Services
     None  Dental Care
     None  Dry Cleaning
     None  Drywall
     None  Electric utility
     None  Equine Services
     None  Equipment Rental
     None  Events/Festivals
     None  Excavating
     None  Eye Care
     None  Feed Stores
     None  Field Mowing
     None  Financial Services
     None  Flooring
     None  Food Products
     None  Funeral Home
     None  Golf Courses
     None  Gun Accessories
     None  Hair/Nail Care and Cosmetics
     None  Handyman Services
     None  Health Care Facilities and Services
     None  Health Care
     None  Heating and Cooling
     None  Home Maintenance
     None  House Cleaning
     None  Insulation
     None  Insurance
     None  Internet Service
     None  Jewelry
     None  Landscaping
     None  Lawn Care
     None  Liquor Stores
     None  Orthodontist
     None  Paving/Asphalt
     None  Personal Coach
     None  Pet Grooming
     None  Pet Sitter
     None  Physician
     None  Plumbing
     None  Portable Buildings
     None  Propane Delivery
     None  Propane
     None  Property Management
     None  Racing - Cars
     None  Real Estate Services
     None  Restaurants
     None  Roofing
     None  Schools
     None  Senior Citizens Services
     None  Septic Services
     None  Sheds, Outbuildings
     None  Shipping Services
     None  Small Engine Repair
     None  Specialty/Gifts
     None  Sports
     None  Storage
     None  Tile - Installation and Repair
     None  Tractor, Trailer and RV Sales
     None  Tree Services
     None  Veterinarian
     None  Water - filtration systems
     None  Window Replacement
     None  Windshield Repair
     None  Winery
     None  Woodworking

“Autumn is the time of year when Mother Nature says, ‘Look how easy, how healthy, and how beautiful letting go can be.’”
– Toni Sorenson  
Contact Us | Advertise | Classified Ad | News Stands | Subscribe  

  Volume No. 15 Issue No. 9 September 2018  

None Black Forest News   None Business Briefs   None Community Calendar   None Did You Know?  
None FFPD Column   None FFPD News   None Finance   None From the Publisher  
None Marks Meanderings   None Monkey Business   None News From D 49   None People on the Plains  
None Pet Care   None Phun Photos   None Prairie Life   None Rumors  
None Taste of Falcon  
Front Page   |   Feature Stories   |   Search This Issue   |   Log In
Janice Tollini

  Perspectives — a column
  Turn that frown upside down — really?
  By Janice Tollini

   Janice Tollini has worked in the health care industry as a clinical psychologist for 15 years. She is now a Talent Management Consultant, and is completing additional graduate training in industrial/organizational psychology. In 2017, she will become certified as an executive coach through the World Coaching Institute. Check out Janice’s website at
I feel that this is the best possible time to write on this particular topic. The weather is dark and foreboding, as is my mood. It is one of those days where everything terrible seems to rise to the surface, and everything good seems hidden behind those dark clouds I just mentioned. The sun keeps trying valiantly to make an appearance, but at best, I get only a glimpse here and there. I am in, as my friend described so eloquently a few days ago, a Grinch-like mood. A perfect time to write about creating happiness.
   Some days the negativity seems indisputable; whereas, optimism seems to be intangible. Other days, all seems well and good with the world. The operative word in all of this is seems. It is a matter of perspective. Avoiding the tired old ‘half glass empty or half full’ cliché, I could say, “The sun wasn’t out at all today,” or I could say, “‘The sun kept peeping through the clouds.”
   Clearly, the weather serves as a good metaphor for our mood. And, as much as we can change our description of the weather, we can also change our view of the world. I know, it sounds like all happy-happy Pollyanna nonsense, so let me give you something more practical and concrete.
   Where and how we focus our attention has a huge impact on how we feel. For example, as I am writing this, I look out the window and see the flowers I planted this spring, my horse grazing in the pasture, the neighbor’s chickens chasing grasshoppers for their lunch — and a piece of trash, a plastic bag, that has blown in from only God knows where. If I focus on the plastic bag to the point that I am no longer enjoying my horse, the flowers or the chickens, I start thinking about how it got there and who is so negligent that they let their trash blow around — and what about the environment … well, you can see where that path would take me.
   The important thing to recognize at this point is that I have a choice. I can focus on the trash or I can redirect my focus to the flowers, etc. If the trash is really going to cause problems, I can go grab it and put it in my trash can and be done with it.
   Obviously, this is an overly simplistic and somewhat limited scenario, but the main concept remains true.
   A few months back, I had reviewed Shawn Achor’s book, “The Happiness Advantage.” In this book, Shawn talks about what he calls the “positivity ratio.” The positivity ratio is the proportion between good and bad needed to maintain, or create, positivity. That ratio is 3:1. So for every one negative thing in our day or in our thoughts, we can actively create a more positive mindset by consciously thinking of three positive things. Admittedly, some days that is more easily done than others. On those difficult, “cloudy” days, it takes conscious effort to locate the good things and bring them into focus. Truth be told, those days take work.
   I also believe that on those days where we find ourselves battling pessimism, we need to be nicer to ourselves: nicer as in kinder, more compassionate and more forgiving. That can be as simple as stopping at Starbucks for your favorite flavored coffee or wearing the outfit that always gets you compliments. It can be taking time for a long, hot shower or watching your favorite feel-good movie. Some days we need a leg-up to feeling good.
   So today, as I sit here bemoaning my own struggles and maladies, I force myself to recognize the many good things in my life, making a mental note of the ways I am fortunate, the talents and strengths God has given me and the wonderful friends and family I have to support and encourage me as I tackle life’s inevitable obstacles. The wind has blown the plastic bag away, and all I see is my horse and the flowers as the sun emerges.
Facebook print this page      

  © 2004-2018 The New Falcon Herald. All rights reserved. About | Contact | Advertise | News Stands | Privacy Policy